Lack-lustre writing, prepare to be banished to the bland cesspit from where you managed to ascend. I’ve enjoyed far too much music coming out lately, and have been even more excited for upcoming albums (At the Gates, Machine Head etc. etc.) and was in much need of a negative review to keep myself on the right side of sanity. It was actually thanks to a glowing recommendation from Machine Head frontman Robb Flynn that I stumbled across my current hatchet job…I mean review subject. King 810 recently made metal headlines in June of this year. Scheduled to play Download Festival, two members of the band were arrested before they could board their flight to the UK as vocalist David Gunn and bassist Eugene Bass (a bassist named “bass”, that’s a first) were taken away by the boys in blue on a charge of assault with intention to do bodily harm. Soon after their music/live videos started spreading across the internet, and with the release of debut “Memoirs of a Murderer” (wow, what an enticing title) they’ve been kind of hard to avoid…like the plague.
MetalSucks has called these guys “knuckle-dragging Neanderthals” (Neilstein, 2014) and I am inclined to agree…but that would be a compliment to Homo Sapien’s spin-off development (I had to get my archaeological nerdness in somewhere). This album is bland to say the least, and very little of it innovative…in fact it’s probably the opposite. Initially we do gain some surprise from the beastly undertone of frontman David Gunn’s vocals…however after about the third minute of album opener “Killem All” it gets pretty tiresome and whiny, like an emo kid’s balls have just dropped/they’ve discovered deathcore for the first time. “Best Nite of my Life” continues this tireless tiresomeness with the ever increasing neanderthalic lyrical content (honestly, these make Ivan Moody look like a wordsmith). “Murder Murder Murder” is basically Chozen’s “Murder Sex” with a ripped off Hatebreed riff in the background and growled vocals.
This album isn’t completely horrible however. Lead single “Fat Around the Heart” is alright, if not insanely catchy. It defines the evident visceral tough guy aura that the band are trying to convey, and it definitely had my head bobbing. “desperate lovers” (no that’s not a type-o, it’s all in lower case) goes into an almost Pantera-esque groove and the vocals don’t enter that horrible high pitched end of the spectrum. Hell if more of the album sounded like this it’d be pretty good! “War Outside” and “eyes” are both pretty sick as well, with “War Outside” providing enough of a hardcore edge to keep fans of the genre happy.
There’s some weird/creepy spoken word tracks in the middle which I promptly skipped through (some would call that bias, I call it efficiency) and a few bluesy acoustic tracks as well which are eerily haunting. Other than that, not much of the actual music is all that surprising. It’s like King 810 are trying to jump out of the CD case and throttle me, when really I’m just bored.
Honestly, if you don’t listen to the entire record, you’re probably not missing much. I often say that “some albums aren’t for everyone” but this one takes the cake, the biscuit, the whole fucking baker’s shop! The lyrical content is about as vivid as “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and the themes become exhausting very quickly. I’m not saying that every lyricist needs to be William fucking Shakespeare, I mean, Manowar are hardly modern poets. But it’s not asking much to request a little bit of exploration or originality is it? However, this is all just one angry man’s opinion
I’m giving “Memoirs of a Murderer” a score of:
“Memoirs of a Murderer” – 4/10
Memoirs of a Murderer is out NOW via Roadrunner Records