Well, here we are. University terms are ending, a man in a red suit is going to invade your homes and touch all your stuff, I’ve still got day of work before I’m set free, yup…it’s nearly Christmas. We figured that because we’re all nice’n’ cuddly here at MFW, we’d give you guys an early Christmas present!
one more day man…one more day
No it isn’t a pony, stop fucking asking. What it is however, is every Mouths for War contributor’s (yes, even you Dan) 5 best and worst albums of 2013. Now I just want to highlight that that says ALBUMS, not songs or videos. So if I hear the words “Blurred Lines,” “Bound 2”, “The Fox”, or “all the Miley Cyrus!” then I’m going to start doing this:
Without further adon’t, onto the list!:
Tristan’s 5 best and worst albums of 2013:
Kings of the Hill:
5.) Frank Turner’s “Tape Deck Heart” (Interscope/ Xtra Mile)
I haven’t been a Frank Turner fan for long, but his last three records have really grown on me, and “Tape Deck Heart” proves that more than anything. I know, “ it’s acoustic, the “grandpas guitars” etc etc,” now bugger off metal fans .He really does show that you can make aggressive music with an acoustic guitar. If you haven’t checked this guy out, then you’re missing something vital in your life. “Tape Deck Heart” is uplifting, chill, catchy and above all carrying on the fun vibe left over by 2011’s “England Keep My Bones.” Personal favourite tracks are “The Way I Tend to Be” and “Plain Sailing Weather.”
4.) Eminem’s “The Marshall Mathers LP 2” (Shady Aftermath)
What a comeback for a man that was heading out the door with a Toy Story sized rocket up his arse. After the veritable pile of shyte that was “Relapse” (2008) and the commercial but seemingly uninspired “Recovery” in 2010, Em’s taken it back to that vintage Slim, finally doing what he’s good at again. “The Marshall Mathers LP 2” is funny, skilful and genuinely an ideal lyrical successor to its predecessor (funny how that works innit?). Not to mention, I believe he sets a new record with the mid-section of “Rap God,” as well as “Berzerk” bringing back that oldoldoldoldold-school Beastie Boys feel. Welcome back Em!
3.) Aveneged Sevenfold’s “Hail To The King” (Warner Bros.)
I’m starting to think that I’m one of the only people that likes this record (if our versus review/ Robb Flynn had anything to say about it anyway). What others call “boring” and a “ripoff”, I call “mature” and “refined” and “artists rip each other off all the time, get over it☺” Hail to the King is the symbol of a band ready to move uptown (had to fit in a musical theatre reference somewhere). The tracks are punchy and gritty whilst still maintaining that dark A7X element that we know and love. I say this now, if I see one “This Means War” sounds like “Sad But True” comment, go and listen to Metallica’s “Orion” and Iron Maiden’s “Blood Brothers” and tell me they don’t sound similar…I dare you.
2.) Children of Bodom’s “Halo Of Blood” (Nuclear Blast)
You didn’t think I’d exclude my favourite band from the list did you? I’ve been a fan of these since I was 10, and most of their albums blew me away at that age (as would anything when you’re y’know…10). But even I can admit when an album’s pretty lacklustre, and both “Blooddrunk” and “Relentless Reckless Forever” were clearly lacking lustre, something that they seem to have found with “Halo of Blood.” It’s more melodic than “Midnight Sonata” being played on pan-pipes, it’s thrashier than a shark in a bathtub, and contains more shredding than the Ninja Turtles main adversary. In short, it’s good, it’s very good, listen or go lick a walrus…that’s right…you read correctly.
1.) A Day To Remember’s “Common Courtesy” (Self-Released)
Bet you didn’t think that my top record would be a post-hardcore one eh? EH?!?! Especially after the way that I slated Falling in Reverse. Well, there’s a simple reason that I like ADTR as opposed to Falling in Reverse…THEY AREN’T SHIT! “Common Courtesy” was a record that had me chomping at the bit (and my fingernails) for its release, and boy did it deliver (took a while for my fingers to grow back but there you go). Full of pop punk corollary, acoustic tranquillity and a balls out heaviness that’s bound to shut any metal fans up, “Common Courtesy” is a testament to a.) what a self-released record can accomplish and b.) that throwing a whole lot of heart (as well as various other ingredients from the musical apothecary) into an album really does make all the difference. I haven’t stopped listening to “Right Back At it Again” and I’m pretty sure I’ll never get tired of it. That’s not something I say very often, as I go through favourite songs like Taylor Swift goes through boyfriends.
Well I guess that’s….what?….oh, the worst? Do I have to?….ergghh fiiine, here’s the albums to avoid or listen to if you want to laugh/cry/craugh (if that isn’t a word it is now).
The Bollock Lords of Shit Mountain:
5.) Hollywood Undead – Notes From The Underground (Universal)
I actually kind of enjoyed the last Hollywood Undead record, “American Tragedy” (2011). It was catchy and could have legitimately been a rock alterative to most club songs, as well as being humerous at points as well. “Notes From The Underground” however proved to me that, like most pop music (note I said MOST so you pop vultures don’t start pecking) you get tired of it pretty quickly. Hol-eee-shit is this album repetitive. This wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t irritating as well…and the songs…well…give this a listen if you dare:
4.) Trivium – Vengeance Falls (Roadrunner)
I just want to say that Trivium will always be one of my favourite bands. I’ve seen them live more than any other band, and will continue to do so. However, because they are one of my favourite bands, I can say that “Vengeance Falls”, bar that massive pile of unwashed laundry called “The Crusade” (2006), is one of the band’s worst. I’ve written extensive reviews on both the album and some of the songs, so check those out if you want to know more (because I’m not writing it again). My main problem with “Vengeance Falls” was that there was no sense of identity, and it ended up just sounding like a messy messy messed-up mess…and a Disturbed tribute record, case in point:
The reason it’s not higher on the list is because well…despite how bad it was (really really reheheheeaaally bad) there were still worse releases this year.
3.) Bullet For My Valentine – Temper Temper (RCA)
*Insert problems with “Vengeance Falls” here, then add poor production and songwriting to the list*. All I’m saying is that a.) at least they still sound decent live and b.) the new song they’ve released is a lot better than this entire album put together :
2.) Falling In Reverse – Fashionably Late (Epitaph)
As my first review on the blog, this one holds a special place in my heart…as my very first sarcastically punctuated hatchet job. There are some good songs on here I will say that (“Bad Girls Club” until its video was released I thought was quite catchy). However it was childish lyrical content, overproduced vocals and a constant need to rap from frontman Ronnie Radke that wore me down to the point that I couldn’t go on:
1.) Megadeth – Super Collider
Well…that was shit wasn’t it? I did promise a review of this record earlier in the year, can’t remember why I didn’t post it….oh wait, I do, because I did start listening to the album and couldn’t listen to more than three tracks because Dave Mustaine’s snarl had turned into an old man whinnying. I think that Mr. Mustaine has caught Radke syndrome and is now pushing his pretty awful vocals to the front of the mix, as well as becoming a bitter human being. The rest is just…well…bad. It sounds like horrible middle aged rock, laced with conspiracy. The title track also gave me one of the best one liners I’ve ever contructed ehem “Dave Mustaine’s vocals have been put through more filters than Skrillex screaming into a cigarette.” And if all of that wasn’t enough…the artwork made my eyes want to swivel round in protest. Well done Mustaine…well fucking done (somehow he’ll say that this was Obama’s fault).:
So there you have it, my 5 best and worst albums of 2013. There are however some honourable song/album mentions to go out for best and worst (Cheers Buckley)
– Black Veil Brides- Wretched and Divine: The Story of the Wild Ones – The title may be a mouthful but the record itself flows like molten aluminium through an ant hill, and well...Andy Biersack actually sounds good.
– HIM – “Tears On Tape” – a spectacular comeback for the modern kings of gothic rock. Superbly morose whilst strangely uplifting…oh HIM you big tease.
– Killswitch Engage: “Disarm the Descent” – Again, a brilliant bounce back featuring former vocalist Jesse Leach, KSE are grittier and more hyped than ever (which is easy to say as their last record was pretty uninspired and boring). Welcome back!
– Anything Lil Wayne released (“I Am Not A Human Being II”) : please stop…just please stop, it’s like he’s learning to un-play the guitar.
– Kanye West – “Yeezus“: If one of your lead singles is “Bound 2” then you’re doing something wrong.
– Redfoo – “Lets Get Ridiculous”: “Party Rock Anthem” with more distortion and one less annoying rapper to worry about…still just as annoying… I mean the “main riff” (does pop music have riffs?) sounds like that fat police officer in the video is jumping up and down on a goose…(Yeah I know I said no songs, but let’s face it…the rest of the album’s going to sound like this anyway…and well, this is my list!)
Have a great Christmas, and we’ll catch you with some new reviews and more pertinent sarcasm in the new year ☺
Take it away Redfoo: